My failed attempts at discipline:
1...2.....3.......ummm now what?!!
Yeah, this doesn't do anything but teach your child how to count to 3! I would say, "Max, please sit in your chair before I count to 3." Why would I say that? No idea! Is the word "3" the punishment or is the next thing I do after "3" supposed to be the punishment, and if so what do I do? I quickly discovered that while many books claim this is effective and some mothers swear by it, it wasn't for us. All I ended up doing was having to tell Max to do something more than once and what kind of example is that teaching my child? I always felt like it was teaching him that I really don't mean anything until I have counted to 3 or said it 3 times. Call me crazy but that doesn't sound like a lesson I should be teaching.
Spankings!
I was spanked growing up and I am not emotionally or physically messed up because of it. I grew up knowing that spankings are just a part of life and if I want to avoid that part of life then I better behave. I also thought all children responded to spankings...turns out they don't! Spanking Max not only breaks my heart, but it also really doesn't work at all. There are some situations where it has been very effective, but not many.
situation 1: If Max is about to touch something hot or do something that will cause him a lot more harm that a spanking ever would, I spank his hand or thigh. It works like a charm everytime. He immediately stops doing whatever is was he was doing and I don't usually have to tell him again. However, if I was to tell Max, "quit throwing a fit or you will get a spanking." it wouldn't work at all.
Situation 2: Anytime Max is just being a "bully" to his brother, friend, or animal, I immediately spank him. I am honestly not sure why this works, but it does. Max is not a "bully" often, but the few times he has pushed someone around and I take him away from the situation to talk to him and let him know he is getting a spanking because he wasn't treating people kindly he is always very appologetic and almost embarrassed for his actions.
TIME OUT!
Yep, who would have thought that this discipline methods works the absolute best for Max?! It's not only beneficial to him, but also to me as well. Sometimes in a stressful or frustrating situation we all just need a timeout. Time outs are absolute torture for Max. He hates to sit still and especially hates to be quiet. Anytime he is throwing a tantrum I know a timeout will get him over it quickly. He is either just frustrated at a situation and the timeout helps give him a minute to calm down and step away from the situation, or he is just being a little toddler who morphs into a small gargoyle a few times a day!
Teaching Max what timeout is was a whole other problem. Our first week of introducing timeout to the discipline method was stressful. Max never sits still for 15 seconds, so getting him to understand he was bad and as a punishment he has to sit in a chair and not talk or move for almost 2 minutes seemed like a huge leap. The first couple days were basically spend in the timeout chair because we kept having to "redo" the timeout. He would get up and run off, talk, scream, cry, kick, bite, and basically anything to distract from the punishment! It was my wonderful Dad who had the solution. One day, Max was being extremely bad and throwing a fit because he wanted some candy. Dad just walked in and said," Time out Max man." Then he proceeded to carry Max to the corner and then they both sat down in the chair staring at the wall. Max would try and get up and Dad would just hold him down in his lap. All the screaming and crying and dad didn't budge an inch! He would say, "this will all be over when you sit still and quit crying until the duck quacks." (Our time out timer is a little duck that quacks instead of buzzes.) About 15 minutes later Max had successfully completed 2 minutes of time out by sitting still and not talking! It was a Christmas miracle...except it was only April! We never had a problem with time out again! Plus Max will avoid it at all cost!
*For the record: Max and dad are still the best of friends and I seriously doubt any emotional damage was created. Also THANK GOD for the wisdom of grandparents! I would seriously be lost without it.
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