Summer time is coming soon!

My first fear! 

As summer time is quickly approaching my two biggest parenting fears become something that I don't just think about every now and then, like I do in the winter, but an hour by hour, or if my children are not with me, a minute by minute obsession.  When my children were younger my biggest fear was that they would be with a baby sitter and choke on something and I wouldn't be there to fix it.  When Max was born premature and most people are not aware that you have to teach premature babies how to eat, which means the parents have to learn a completely new way of feeding an infant...something completely contradictory because it is completely opposite of feeding a full term baby.  While Max was learning to eat (I guess I mean drink milk) he choked ALOT!  I guess what I am saying is that is where my fear of my children choking stemmed from.  I would go crazy hiding any type of food in the house that looks like something they might choke on, lie to people and tell people my kids were allergic to anything I was scared they might choke on, or just instruct people not to feed my child anything while I was gone.  Yep...I'm a little neurotic!  Thankfully, I have loosened up a lot and that isn't really a big fear of mine anymore.  Now I have two other fears that constantly occupy my mind during the summer time.

Learning how to make sure my baby is not choking!

1.) Drowning!    
         My absolute biggest fear in the entire world is that my sons will fall in dark water (like the lake, ocean, pond, river etc..) and sink straight to the bottom and I will not be able to do anything to save them.  I have had countless nightmares of my children falling off boats, docks, and river banks and me just diving down into the water to find them and coming back up for air sobbing and screaming...once I finally wake up I am usually covered in sweat, crying, or holding my breath.  Its a terrible dream.  I have been having these dreams since Max was just 6 weeks old.  No idea why, or if it is even a common parenting fear, but it terrifies me.  You basically have to drag me away from my kids in the summer time because I am always scared they will encounter some type of body of water while I am gone and nobody will pay attention and they will drown.

Max and Jerry's "breathing bath lessons"

          Because of this all consuming fear I have been trying to teach my children to swim or at least float, the minute their umbilical cords fell off.  My wonderful Dad was kind enough to heat the swimming pool up in the winter so the boys can "practice."  Max started off learning to hold his breath in the sink when I would give him baths.  When he was just 12 weeks old I would wash his hair and instead of very carefully pouring water over his head so that none got in his face or eyes, I would blow in his face (which makes a baby hold their breath) and pour water straight down his face.  The first couple times he hated it, but the more I cheered for him, the more he liked it.  At 6 months old I had him the pool and would blow in his face and then dunk him under water for just a split second.  Before you just get outraged with me and think I am abusing my children you have to realize that all of this worked!  I did the same process with Jerry and they both absolutely love the water, but at the same time have a fear and respect for it.  When Max was about one and a half he thought he would be brave and just jump in the pool without me...my biggest fear came true...my baby was in the water without me!  Luckily my dad was there and grabbed me and said he will never learn if I jerk him up, just give him a second.  A loooong 5-7 seconds later my dad jerked him out of the water and he was completely fine because we had taught him how to hold his breath, but he has never jumped in the water without me since then.  Now Max can swim like a fish!  One of the only 3 year olds I know that can take off swimming under water without any type of float.  Its truly amazing.  Its my goal to teach Jerry this summer.  Even though my kids know how to hold their breath and respect the water I am still terrified something will happen.  So I always say a little extra prayer for my kids (and every kid) during the summer that they won't drown.  So if you are saying prayers at night please say an extra prayer for my children that they will have a safe swimming filled summer.

Max's first swimming lesson in the pool

Jerry after his first swimming lesson.  I wasn't able to find the pictures of Jerry's first lesson in the pool :(

Max's first solo swim across the pool with floats!  Only a year old.  

2.)  Leaving my children in the car!
   
        I have no idea why this is such a big fear of mine.  My children are extremely loud, especially in the car, so I have no idea why I would be scared I could possibly leave them in a car and not remember.  However, I hear that this happens everyday!  I have told Max and Jerry's school teacher to always call me if my children are more then 10 minutes late for school, just in case I went brain dead and left them in the car!  My children are basically always with me, they only go to "school" once a week, but it is still a fear of mine.  If I ever drop my kids off somewhere I will get home and then run back to check the car 4-5 times just to make sure they are not still in there hiding or strapped in their seats.  Its an even bigger fear that someone else will forget and leave them in the car.  Again, they are usually not with anyone else, but when they are, whoever they are with is not used to the amount of energy they have and are often times exhausted when I return.  Sometimes I am afraid the boys will just fall asleep in their carseats and the car will get so quiet the person will just forget they are there and walk into the house, store, etc..  I seriously doubt it will happen, but I think about it all the time.

These fears make me feel sooo crazy, especially in the summer time!  I know I am a little neurotic, crazy, obsessed, or just openly normal about my fears.  I know every parent out there has to have a specific fear that just scares them to death...at least I hope so because otherwise I am completely nuts!!

Max's first time in "dark water danger!"