Premature Max and Premature Parents

 Caring for a premature baby has a whole new set of worries than what a healthy baby has.  Basic things have to be taught, like breathing, eating, and making sure he stays warm.  Max was in the hospital for a while and while we were there I was so ready to leave, completely confident that I could do it!  Then the day came to leave and I was terrified!  They were just letting us walk out with this baby who had previous relied on tubes, ivs, doctors, and nurses just to survive!  This small baby was depending on me now!  Stressed!  I had a couple nurses on speed-dial and a doctor and you know I called them all several times.  What happens if he forgets how to breastfeed?  More importantly what happens when I can't do it without the help of the lactation consultant?!  Yep, I had her on speed-dial too!

With lots of encouraging words from nurses, parents in the NICU, doctors, family, and friends, I was ready to leave.  We had officially done it!  Made it through the hard part!  Right?  Wrong!

Taking Max home was a scary and me being a first time mama I was completely obsessed about everything.  I made poor souls who dared to visit completely wash basically their whole body with soap.  I sprayed poor kids who went to school with lysol...right in the face!  Yeah I was crazy! I freaked out if he was late for a feeding for even 3 minutes.  Finally after 6 weeks when his doctor said he was as strong as a healthy baby I started to ease up just a tad.  I went out in public with him for the first time when he was 6 weeks old.  We went to church...got there late and left early so nobody would touch him or breath on him, after all it was RSV season!  I'm not the crazy.    Max was a boob man to the biggest degree.  Would not take a bottle for the longest time, so all the work was on me, but I loved every minute of it.  Well kinda...mastitis really sucks!  Ok I'm totally lying the first 3 weeks of breastfeeding was straight out of a horror story, we both cried when it was time for him to eat.  But just as everyone promise, if I stick with it, it will get easier and its the best thing you can do for your baby.  So I did it, and I am so glad I stuck with it.

At about 16 weeks I had turned into just an overprotective parents, instead of a crazy, obsessed lunatic parent.  I was really enjoying being a mom and other people were finally able to enjoy Max because I let them hold him!  First time Mama all have to be a little crazy, I think that is normal.  Later when Max was almost one I read a study that said almost every mother who has a baby in the NICU the first days of life reacts this way and it can last till the baby is 2.  So I moved on happy that I was considered normal and slightly ahead of the curve of letting go a little bit of the fear.