The No Teeth Wonder!

I always heard teething was one of the hardest parts of parenting and so far it has been the hardest 10-11 months of my life!!!  Max successfully celebrated his first birthday without a SINGLE tooth! He gummed down his whole birthday cake and finished off a personal pan cheese pizza.  I seriously do not know how he is able to eat half of the things he does without teeth.
I know that it has to hurt having razor sharp little teeth constantly trying to push through your gums...the reason I know it hurts is because he lets me know all day long.  We have tried just about every teething remedy and have finally found one that works.  A lot of mom's would probably frown on me for doing this, but I don't care because it makes my little man feel better.  We have found it is best to put a little bit of brandy on his gums, just enough to make them a little numb.  He hates the way it taste, but just minutes afterwards he is back to being his happy self.

At Max's first birthday I was around 5 months pregnant and pretty confident that I would have the baby before Max would ever even get a tooth.  However, it finally happened when he was 15 months old!  As I was giving him a bath he opened his mouth to tell me what a cow says and there it was!!  One tiny little piece of white just barely peeking through his gums on the bottom right.  I was so excited that he finally had a tooth that I called Reed, then Mom, then Dad, then Nana, then Autumn while she was in class.  Everyone was just as excited for the news as I was.  Once that one tooth came in it was like rapid fire teething!  He had 2 more teeth poke through within the month.  By the time Jerry was born he had a full mouth of teeth.

So teething sucks really bad for the parent and the child! Reed always joked that the tiny flask of brandy I carried around in the diaper bag was for me more than it was Max!  I always tell him I don't drink on the job...but I would be lying if I said I didn't think about numbing the teething pain for me a little bit too...that is why I used the earplugs :)

One of Max's favorite teething objects.  Reed's tough phone set on vibrate!  

Making it Through Max's early months.

Max had a pretty rough start in the world, which means I had a rough start as a parent.  I always thought I would be a "natural" and not be nervous, just kinda naturally know what I am supposed to be doing.  I was so nervous with Max that I second guessed EVERYTHING!  After 6 weeks of being extremely tense I finally started to feel better, but Max was still different than any other newborn I had every experienced.

Oh the throw up!  Max had such bad acid reflux that he didn't keep half of what he ate!  I constantly had throw up on my clothes, hair, or most times both.  I felt bad for the poor little guy, but it was also pretty frustrating that I had a constant odor on me.  After I realized that this was not going to kill him ( I thought everything was going to kill Max for the longest time), I quit obsessing about how much he was throwing up and started thinking of ways to keep myself almost throw up free.

Did I really just throw up again?! 

1.) I never put on my "going out shirt" until I was in the car after Max was buckled up.

2.) I always had a second going out shirt in the car because it was like a law that Max had to throw up on me at every important event just as soon as we got there.

3.) Perfume, perfume, and perfume.  I always had a little tester perfume in my pocket just to spray on my clothes.  Wet wipes usually  get the mess off, but the smell will remain.

4.)Max always had 3 changes of clothes with him at all times and a was the most moisturized baby you had ever met.  All the baby lotion helped mask the constant smell of baby throw up.

5.) The store bought burp rags are the biggest pieces of junk I have ever seen!  Thank goodness several women had made homemade burp rags out of real good fabric that was able to clean up any mess Max threw at me.

6.) And lastly, when that really rude person walks up to you and says "gross, what is that on your shirt?!"  Its best to just smile and say, "I'm sorry, have you met my son Max?  Would you like to hold him?"  Then they can first hand experience exactly what it is on my shirt!

An unsuspecting, but not rude victim! 

Crazy...I don't think so!

 I have always wanted my children close together and so has Reed.  He was an only child, so he always wanted his children to have a really close bond.  We decided to have another baby pretty quick so Max would have sibling really close to him.  Everyone thought I was crazy and that I wasn't going to go through with it. I wanted to loose all the baby weight before I got pregnant again.  I didn't just want to add to an amount that would be impossible to get off.  I am proud to say I lost 65 pounds in 7 months!  I vowed to never gain that much weight during pregnancy again.  Determined to have my babies close together we decided to just see what happens and see if I was one of the lucky women that are able to get pregnant while still breastfeeding.

 Well we did!  We happily announced our pregnancy before Max was even walking!  Max was just starting to not be a boob man anymore.  Yeah people freaked out a little.  "How are you going to be able to handle this?" "What were you thinking?"  "Not busy enough already?"  We knew we could do it and that is what we wanted.  We just had to pray that this pregnancy would be easier than Max's.  What are the chances at just really sucking at being pregnant?  Pretty good it turns out!

This was the day of Max's 1st birthday!  I was already pretty pregnant!

The first few months of my pregnancy were great.  Only all day sickness, but I was used to that.  I mean it wasn't that long ago that I was pregnant with Max!  Reed was just now getting used to not seeing me as a massive fat woman, but this time the pregnant belly came out faster than before.  I was in the maternity pants in 2 months!  Luckily at this time it was just the belly so it was kinda cute, but inappropriately big for being this early on.  Max thought the belly was a great pillow and race track for his cars.  Running after a toddler all day also was great at keeping the weight off!  My belly got huge, but luckily my legs stayed small.  Then the weight started showing up everywhere!  I had no idea why.  Was it preeclampsia again at just 27 weeks?!  Emergency appointment with my doctor and he says no preeclampsia, you just suck at being pregnant, it's like your body is rebelling.  Great...just what I wanted to hear.  I knew I would be having a c-section this time because I had one last time, so I was at least glad I didn't have to play the waiting for labor game.

30 weeks into the pregnancy I developed bleeding ulcers in my stomach and extreme heartburn that made my throat constantly bleed.  Ice cream was the only thing that really soothed any of it...so here comes more pounds!  I didn't gain 65 pounds this time, just 60!  UGH!   The ulcers and heartburn lasted the whole pregnancy, but at least I could deal with those at home!  2 scares of prelabor and my doctor moved the date up to May 24th for my csection.
It was so easy.  Walked into the hospital, checked in, walked to the emergency room, and 10 minutes later Jerry was here!  Amazing!  I got to hold him while they were still sewing me up and then after I was done he was in the room working on breastfeeding just 20 minutes later!  Such a different experience.  It was peaceful, relaxing, and our whole family got to be there to enjoy his first few newborn days at the hospital.  Max loved his new brother and tried to hold him all the time.

Discharged me from the hospital in 4 days and I was so happy to be leaving...little did I know I would be back.  Turns out my body reacted bad to my spinal.  I now had spine fluid leaking into my brain or something.  On a scale of 1-10 the pain was 100!!!  I never felt this much pain in my life.  I got to the point I wasn't even thinking clearly and was hallucinating.  Doctors told me to wait it out 2 days and it usually clears up on its own...it didn't!  Finally went back to the hospital, had a blood patch, and I was back to normal again...except for the nagging pain in my back from have a needle stuck in it twice in less than a week.

2 weeks of amazing perfect baby bliss at home.  Jerry was the best eater!  Max was the best brother.  It was all so easy I had no idea what these people who were scared were talking about.  I go back to my doctor for my 2 week checkup and he gives me that bad news.  No more babies for you.  Your body just hates it too much and I don't know if you or the next baby would make it though another pregnancy.  Dreams=crushed!

2 perfectly healthy babies and I was upset?!  Whats wrong with me?  Yeah I just want lots of children, 3 or 4.  Don't get me wrong I loved every minute of Jerry's newborn days, but I was sad I thought it would be my last one, so I cherished every single moment.  Then we started thinking adoption and it was the answer to our prayers!

Premature Max and Premature Parents

 Caring for a premature baby has a whole new set of worries than what a healthy baby has.  Basic things have to be taught, like breathing, eating, and making sure he stays warm.  Max was in the hospital for a while and while we were there I was so ready to leave, completely confident that I could do it!  Then the day came to leave and I was terrified!  They were just letting us walk out with this baby who had previous relied on tubes, ivs, doctors, and nurses just to survive!  This small baby was depending on me now!  Stressed!  I had a couple nurses on speed-dial and a doctor and you know I called them all several times.  What happens if he forgets how to breastfeed?  More importantly what happens when I can't do it without the help of the lactation consultant?!  Yep, I had her on speed-dial too!

With lots of encouraging words from nurses, parents in the NICU, doctors, family, and friends, I was ready to leave.  We had officially done it!  Made it through the hard part!  Right?  Wrong!

Taking Max home was a scary and me being a first time mama I was completely obsessed about everything.  I made poor souls who dared to visit completely wash basically their whole body with soap.  I sprayed poor kids who went to school with lysol...right in the face!  Yeah I was crazy! I freaked out if he was late for a feeding for even 3 minutes.  Finally after 6 weeks when his doctor said he was as strong as a healthy baby I started to ease up just a tad.  I went out in public with him for the first time when he was 6 weeks old.  We went to church...got there late and left early so nobody would touch him or breath on him, after all it was RSV season!  I'm not the crazy.    Max was a boob man to the biggest degree.  Would not take a bottle for the longest time, so all the work was on me, but I loved every minute of it.  Well kinda...mastitis really sucks!  Ok I'm totally lying the first 3 weeks of breastfeeding was straight out of a horror story, we both cried when it was time for him to eat.  But just as everyone promise, if I stick with it, it will get easier and its the best thing you can do for your baby.  So I did it, and I am so glad I stuck with it.

At about 16 weeks I had turned into just an overprotective parents, instead of a crazy, obsessed lunatic parent.  I was really enjoying being a mom and other people were finally able to enjoy Max because I let them hold him!  First time Mama all have to be a little crazy, I think that is normal.  Later when Max was almost one I read a study that said almost every mother who has a baby in the NICU the first days of life reacts this way and it can last till the baby is 2.  So I moved on happy that I was considered normal and slightly ahead of the curve of letting go a little bit of the fear.

And Baby Makes 3 :)

My pregnancy with Max was terrible to say the least!  Pregnancy does not do well with my body.  All day sickness the whole pregnancy, insane mood swings, and the pregnancy glow everyone talks about...well it lasted about 12 weeks and then all I did was break out!  I always felt like something was wrong the whole pregnancy, nothing felt quite right.  However, I am a known hypochondriac, so this was not unusual to everyone else.

32 weeks pregnant

Towards the end of my pregnancy I gained a crazy 40 pounds!  Then the terrible happened.  At a regular checkup my doctor came in the room not looking like his happy self.  He informed me that I had preeclampsia and I would be checking into the hospital immediately.  Umh....what?!  What is the pre word I hear?!  I hadn't gotten to that part of the book yet, but I am guessing its not good.  Luckily Reed had gone to this checkup with me, so he was able to get the important parts of it while I was wheeled to the hospital and checking in.  Turns out the doctors and nurses did not want a known hypochondriac to know exactly what preeclampsia is...which I am really grateful for now, but then it was incredibly frustrating!

About 7 and a half weeks from my due date, I was told to make myself comfortable in the hospital that I would be here for a while.  Only allowed to get out of bed to shower and pee was miserable.  Before I knew it I was swelling up like a hot air ballon...my fingers looked like sausage finger and my ankles were non longer there.  Who gets stretch marks on the knees?!  Well I did! 65 pounds gained total!  I know what you are thinking...you pig!  Nope I couldn't help it...turns out preeclampsia makes you gain weight like a sumo wrestler! Nurses came to take blood about every 4 hours and then would leave telling me to relax!  Who relaxes in a hospital?  Nobody! There are nurses there every hour checking on your blood pressure, baby heart beat, how much you had to pee, and asking strange questions and me just hoping I get the answers right.  When the nurse would come in, whoever was in the room at the time would all just stare at me like I was a crazy science project.  Then it happened...one day I answered a question wrong.  The nurse asked, "Having any headaches today?"  I said, "I have had the worst headache all day, my ears are even ringing."  Next thing I know my doctor is in the room discussing "football" in the corner with my husband.  They always tried to keep the mood light and fluffy so I wouldn't stress because if I did my blood pressure would go up...at this point I still didn't know preeclampsia was blood pressure related.  Their "football" discussion ended with my in a crazy helicopter ride to Shreveport to a hospital with a better neonatal unit.  Everyone filled me in at this point finally!  My blood pressure was incredibly too high and if we didn't deliver the baby we would probably both die.  Reason #2 they didn't tell me...I said no.  It was 6 weeks before the due date and I knew that would be scary and that Max would have a hard time being born this early.  They didn't care what I had to say.  After a crazy helicopter ride and a meeting with a very arrogant doctor that would be delivering my baby in a couple hours I was starting to get scared.

The time finally came to have my c-section.  Blood pressure was to high to even think about labor.  I thought the room would be pretty empty for a surgery, but it wasn't.  There was 4 people by my head, 2 doctors cutting me open and a whole neonatal team for Max.  Scary?  Yes!  Max was born at 8:36 am and he came out screaming, which was what I prayed for over and over.  I heard crying was always a very good sign for premature babies.  I saw him for about 3 minutes before they took him to the nursery.  My recovery took longer than most to keep my blood pressure stable, but soon I was back in the room waiting to see Max.  Then I got the bad news.  I would not be seeing Max for a while, he is in the NICU and I am not allowed to get up because I am still on some type of medicine for blood pressure that has a rule that you can't move much.  12 hours later and I had had enough!  I informed my nurse that if she didn't take me to see my baby I would be jerking these iv's out myself and going to see him.  Surprisingly they took me serious and let me see him!

He was adorable and so tiny.  Tubes and iv's all over him, so I couldn't hold him, but I could hold his little hand.  He got better and better everyday and finally after 3 days I was able to hold him!

We are All Strangely Connected

 Reed and I know we are just soul mates!  There is no other way to describe the weird way we finally met each other.  Reed's family has been a family friend for over 12 years...strangely enough, I never meet him until Thanksgiving of 2007!  How this is possible, I am not sure!

Deer season is always pretty big around here.  Every moment of free time I had during my Thanksgiving break was spent in a tree stand.  My mom would have to beg for me to "get out of the woods and spend some time in the house."  One particular afternoon, just as it had turned completely dark and I have given up for the night, my phone started to ring.  Of course it was my mama "noticing" that it was dark outside and asking me to have supper with her and some friends at Papa's (a local mexican restaurant).  I didn't have time to change so I went to eat in my camo overalls and smelling like deer pee!  A clumsy incident had happened while I was climbing into the tree stand and the whole bottle poured all over my clothes.  I show up and my Nana takes one look at me and just looks down at the table and shakes her head!  How was I supposed to know I was meeting my future husband tonight?!  A little warning that they were trying to set me up would have been nice! It was such a coincidence that the only chair left open was by this very attractive, polite man, Reed.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am extremely shy!  Especially meeting new people and especially with men!  So I basically didn't say 3 words the whole meal!

We love to go hunting together.  I am the better shot and he always seems to know where to find whatever we are hunting :) 

I had to leave to go back to school the next day, but little did I know Reed had asked my Dad if it would be alright if he called me.  Again, nobody filled me in on this information!  As soon as I get back to school I get a phone call from a weird number.  Of course it was Reed and I was confused.  Why in the world would he want to talk to a deaf/mute?!  That must be what he thinks I am because I never said two words to him.  Phone conversations are also not on my list of talents...I am deaf in my left ear and soooo shy talking on the phone.  Poor Reed had to keep the whole conversation up by asking questions!  After a LOT of phone calls I eventually relaxed.  There was a connection that just could not be ignored.  All the stuff I was bad at, he was good at.  He wasn't intimidated by my over-bearing, in your face, but loving family.  He immediately picked up the fact that he always needs to stand on my right side if he wants me to hear much of what he says, which means he is a very attentive and nurturing man...most of the time :)

We fell in love hard and fast.  Next thing I know we are an exclusive couple.  All my friends love him, especially my sister, Autumn, without her approval this relationship would have been ended right there! We  move to Wyoming together to go to school.  After almost a year there, Reed proposes!  We take a day trip to Steamboat, Colorado to go hiking up by a beautiful waterfall.  I was completely unsuspecting.  As we was crossing over the waterfall on this little bridge I turn around to tell Reed I think we can climb a little bit higher, he is already down on one knee.  As blonde as I am, I still didn't realize what was going on, so I bend down too and look on the ground...I thought he lost something!  Next thing I know he grabs my hands and says, "Amber Dawn will you marry me?"

I excitedly got to call everyone and tell them I was engaged!  Mama and I immediately started making wedding plans...we were both thinking Hawaii!  Keep it small with a few people who love us most and really simple.  Well...little did I know Hawaii was not going to be an option.  5 Weeks later we realized God had other plans!  We were expecting a baby and due date was right around Valentine's Day.  Since my Mama and Dad...well technically my whole family, is the best we planned an amazing wedding in a few short weeks!  We both wanted to be married before the baby was here, but we didn't want to shortchange our wedding experience.  We never tried to hide the pregnancy, we always said it was an unexpected blessing and if people couldn't accept that, then that was their problem.  My Mama and Reed's Nana and Mom were the magicians for the wedding!  Mama found the location and made everything perfect!  Reed's Nana, Marie, and Mom, Dede completely decorated the whole thing.  It was truly amazing.  Almost everyone we loved and cared about was able to make the trip to South Carolina

Max making a little of an appearance in my wedding dress :) 

Our Amazing Flowers

Welcome to our family

Welcome to our family,
 
 We are Reed, Amber, Max and Jerry.  We live in a small town in Oklahoma and love every minute of it.  Reed and I are blessed with two wonderfully loud, energetic, and loving sons.  Max is our oldest (1-2-09) and thinks he is completely in charge and  Jerry (5-24-10) is the little brother, but thinks he is just as big, if not bigger than Max.

         

        

We have been married for 3 years and we both believe we are soul mates

Jerry

Max

We have started our adoption journey and we are very excited.  We just know Max and Jerry will be the best big brothers.  We are homestudy complete and just waiting for a birthmother to find our family.  One of our many adoption profile is listed at http://www.christianadoption.com/family1111/reedamber.htm

Many people are confused by us going to independent adoption route.  Well to explain it the nicest was I know how, many adoption agencies feel its right to put an amount of love a family is able to give to children.  Due to the fact that we are blessed with 2 wonderful boys, many agencies stated that we were not a priority.  Many agencies were as rude as to say, "a birthmother is not even going to consider your family because your family is simply too large and your children are too young."  Well thank you very much, but I fully believe that a child benefits more by entering the world having many people love him/her already, instead of entering a home where they are the only child.  Why would you want your child to have the love of only 2 people (the mother and father) when a child can be surrounded by love from siblings?  My first son entered the world with many people loving him, however my second son was even more blessed because when he was born he already had a best friend, Max! 

Yes, my children are pretty close in age, but that is how we love it! If I had it my way, they would be even closer in age.  I love that my children will be experiencing the same life experiences as they grow.  Is it hard sometimes?  Well of course it is!  Is it worth it?  Yes!  I have my moments when I realize I have been changing dirty diapers for 3 years straight and I get a little tired...but before I even have finished the diaper change I find my self wishing a birthmother would hurry up and find us so I can enjoy this precious baby time a little longer and so all my children will be babies together! 

Our first family picture when the boys were very little. We realized nobody was going to smile and say cheese like they are supposed to, so we thought why not capture the craziness and love of it all!