Today I forgot!!

Today I forgot something and it made me feel amazing!

  We had a small injury at the house this morning (more on this later...maybe) and I of course had to make a call to the doctor.  Due to the fact that I have given our pediatrician A LOT of business that last 4 years, we have become pretty good friends.  After he immediately dismissed by injury questions as "its just one of those things, he will be fine", he asked about my other 2 children.  I of course went through the generic responses that they were doing great, minus the picky eating or normal toddler behavior.   He asked about Abilene and was wondering if I was having any allergy concerns or genetic concerns...basically if she was able to eat anything without having a reaction and if she was developing "normally."  I thought it was a weird question to ask so I responded by saying, "she is the best baby I have!  She is a great eater and I don't worry much about allergies since her brothers don't have any food allergies."

Looooonnnng pause....

Dr.- "Ok, so you know that Abilene has brothers? "
Me- "What?! Of course I know that she does, they live with me."
Dr.- "I think we are not on the same page here.  I know you are intelligent, but do I need to explain genetics and hereditary allergies to you?"
Me- "Wow, I am so sorry I completely forgot Abilene was adopted!"

I am not sure when I forgot that Abilene was adopted, but I am glad it happened.  Abilene is almost 8 months old now and for the most part I don't think anyone looks at her any differently than they do my other children.  It was always a huge fear of mine that when I looked at my adopted child I would only see the birthmother/birthfather and always feel a sense of loss that we will be missing a link together.

Then I finally realized that the only time I remember that Abilene is adopted is when someone else points it out to me.  Sometimes a friend or somebody will ask if I have heard from the birthmother or something like that and I am always happy to talk about our birthmother, but I honestly forget about her.

I love this!

I am not sure if it is a normal fear for adoptive parents, but I was always scared that my daughter would behave, act, look, or speak so differently than myself and my family that I would always think, "oh, its because she was adopted.  She doesn't have my genetics."  I have always believed in nurture instead of nature, but when it came right down to it, I obviously feared the nature side.  It was such a relief today to realize that I completely treated Abilene just like my biological children and I obviously saw her as no different than Max and Jerry.

Basically, today one of my adoption fears were put to rest and I am very happy about that :)