Social conventions

Have you ever met somebody that just has a way with words? Somehow they are able to talk to anyone about anything, and speak so confidently that you wouldn't dare second guess what they are saying.  Well, I am NOT one of those people.  I have more of a flare for the written word, but this is because I have spent a lot of time reading and thinking (introverts like their alone time, doesn't get more alone than in your own head!).  Most of the time, not all the time, I think before I write.  Unless I am in a complete hurry I spell check at least once before I make anything public...and I still make mistakes all the time.  I wish I had a spell check option type thing for real life.  It would be so nice to be able to practice saying something and then hear yourself say it and then decide if it is good or at least interesting enough to be worth saying.

It isn't any kind of secret that I am a shy individual.  Combine shy with being an introvert and you get a social outcast, who kinda likes it that way most of the time.  Not a great combination for making friends, getting to know people, or being able to function in social situations without just being REALLY weird.  I have maybe 2 close friends who I feel comfortable talking with and actually like to be around and even they sometimes look at me like I have lost my mind.  Normal social conventions elude me most of the time and if you step too far out of these normal social conventions people either think 1 of 2 things, you are either crazy or just rude.  So most of the time I just don't step at all.  I just sit back, watch and listen.  

It was like a breath of fresh air when Reed and I got together.  I don't know it he was warned by my family of my weirdness, but he was never taken back.  From the very beginning he has been able to understand that I just suck at social gatherings and has also been able to pick up my slack and fix what I have probably damaged.  Before I even met his friends for the first time, he was considerate enough to tell them, "Don't ask her if something is wrong.  She is just really shy when you first meet her."  Reed's friends are awesome and now (6 years later) I consider them my friends too!  Yes, it has taken 6 whole stinking years for me to be able to go anywhere with our friends and not take my social buffer (Reed) along with me.  I have probably done some very inappropriate things in these 6 years and they have stuck it out...they didn't have a choice because Reed kept bringing me around, but they didn't complain lol.  

The problem arises when I am stuck in a new social situations and my social buffer is not able to come with me.  The most recent problems are in the mommy circle.  If I keep making all these moms think I am weird, rude, or crazy, they quit bringing their kids around and then my kids don't have any friends.  I wish I was just really super smart so I could blame it on that, but I'm not.  Reed says I just have to practice and watch how other people react in certain situations and I will get better.  Just like with everything else, practice makes perfect right?  It is just a weird thing to have to practice.  Max is officially school age, so I will be in a lot of social settings, therefore, I am going to have to learn, and learn quickly.  I knew the obvious things, like don't talk about :

1.) Politics

2.) Religion

3.) Money

Ok...but do you know what else is not ok?  When someone else brings up one of the big 3 and your response is "Not really a good subject for me, have anything else to talk about?"  Yep, then you are the narcissistic, rude person. Normally if it was a gathering more then 2 people I just wouldn't say anything, but you can't just turn into a mute when it is just you and another person right?  So cue the inappropriate, uncomfortable silence and then excuse yourself to go talk to your child 4 second to late.  

I am just curious if people are born with this gift of gab?  Do they just get more practice when they are young?  Not really sure how it happens, but maybe it is something I should look into.  For the record, I like myself just the way I am and I rarely wish that I was an extrovert.  I have grown to consider myself like a little hidden oyster...stick around and pry hard enough and you will find the pearl on the inside.  You will never find anyone more loyal, nurturing, and faithful I promise.  The ONLY time I feel bad about my lacking in the social department is when it affects my children.  Hopefully I will learn just enough so that my children have friends, or at least just enough so that parents will see that I am not crazy and their kids will be safe with me if they let their children come over to play.