Naked protesters.

I have 2 naked protesters!  My 2 sons literally repel clothes.  I'm not sure how it happens, but they never seem to be wearing any clothes.  Not such an immediate issue when it is just us chilling at the house, but when we have a surprise visitor walk in and my 2 sons are just walking around with whackers hanging out, it tends to become an immediate issue.

Max is at the age where he should be putting on his own clothes...something you have to teach children how to do, who knew?!  Not sure why I just thought he would eventually figure out how to put clothes on all by himself, but kids need step by step instruction for putting on each separate article of clothing ( at least this is my experience with boys).  So let operation make putting on clothes as excruciating and frustrating as possible begin!!

Normal scenario in our house every single day, 2 times a day:

 Max goes to get his chore card to put on his clothes (yes my ADHD child need to be reminded with a card to put on clothes).  I hear the usual disclaimer of "um mama, I just like to wear my underwears today, its beary hot!"  Then I waste another 5 minutes opening the door to outside and making him describe the weather conditions.  If its not swimming weather outside, you have to wear clothes, you never know what might happen to where we have to leave quickly (minor crisis happen around here at least every 2 hours).  After we go through this process of explaining why he has to wear clothes he immediately gets sick, tired, hungry, stuck, or his body just goes completely lifeless on the floor in protest.  The only way I have been able to make him wear clothes is by saying "Sadie (our boxer) is going to eat you whacker if you don't put clothes on!"  Yes, I know its bad and maybe a little scary, but it works and I'm not yelling or fighting with my child...win-win to me.  He always manages to at least get the underwear on by himself without any assistance and a lot of times he gets one leg into his pants before he gets distracted or has a complete meltdown of the "I can't's!"  I always break down and assist him about this time because honestly I have things to do.  By some type of strange black magic my son is magically able to transform from a 50 pound toddler into a 150 pound midget man who is unable to control his body movements or support his own weight.  After finally managing to wrangle his pants on I think "hmmm, maybe he doesn't really need to wear a shirt today, " but I know if I don't dress him completely, he will inevitably undress as soon as I am distracted.  The shirt covers Max's face for less than 3 seconds and he starts complaining that he is "trapped in here!"  Kid one completely dressed!  Workout one accomplished!

Now to find that crazy little man, Jerry.  He is always running around with some type of snack in his hand completely naked.  However, when it is time to put clothes on his vanishes.  Jerry is a little guy, he can fit anywhere!  I usually only find him by following the sound of tiny little giggles because he thinks he is soooo funny hiding from the woman that insists he wear clothes like every other person in the world.  Usually he is actually hiding under my clothes in the closet, so I drag him out by his ankle and make a quick playful jump to scoop his little naked body up before he can dash away.  He finds this all hilarious and it kinda is, and also mostly my fault for making a game out of the whole thing.  When it become not so funny is when he runs away halfway dressed, most times one leg is the only thing in his pants or the shirt is covering his head then inevitably runs into a door or piece of furniture causing our hopefully first injury of the day.  Is it bad that I immediately think "please don't bleed on those jeans I just put on!"?  Anyways, this kid is dressed and hopefully not requiring medical attention so we can go on with our day.

Once we get back from town it is a like a swarm of clothes flying everywhere as soon as we walk into the house.  Jeans here, shirt on the couch, shoes in the car, socks on the stairs...kinda like a midget strip tease.  Follow the clothes and you will find the naked rowdy little boys.  We always compromise with wearing "comfy clothes" at the house when our errands are done, meaning no jeans or button up shirts allowed.

Why do my children like to be naked ALL the time?!  Why is it such a struggle to get them dressed and when is the magical day that my son will willingly put on his own clothes?  I hear this is a boy problem and that girls will be more than happy to oblige in a game of dress up and it is getting the clothes off that is hell.  Abilene, you better not let me down!