National Adoption Month

In 1984 President Ronald Reagan proclaimed a "National Adoption Week, " fortunately just nine years later President Bill Clinton, who was adopted himself, declared November as National Adoption Month.  Surprisingly adoption is still not an issue many people are informed about.  A lot of people have a weird view on adoption ranging from good to bad...mostly bad.  I personally think they have watched way too many lifetime movies where the birthmother is always bad and evil,  coming back to "steal" her child or the adoptive parents are portrayed as baby buying, Stephford-ish type of families who would literally rip a newborn baby out of a woman's arms and throw cash at her as they run out the door.   When in reality, most birthmothers are so thankful for the adoptive family and the adoptive family has the utmost respect for the birthmother.

Hopefully with time and exposure more people will be aware of what adoption is really like.  National Adoption month is a time to spread awareness, help potentially adoptive families, help birthfamilies, and focus on children who are in need of forever families.

                    A little about Birthmothers:

I am so thankful for our birthmother!  The day she called to let us know she picked our family changed our life forever.  She took care of my daughter before I was able to.  She grew her and kept her safe and healthy and then lovingly handed her to me to join our family.  She made an amazingly mature decision at a very young age of 16.  Our birthmother made it possible for me to have a daughter, Max & Jerry to have a sister, & and Reed to have a little daddy's girl .  She gave us one of the greatest gifts and I will be forever grateful.  Relationships with birthmothers are different for everyone and our semi-open relationship is working great for us so far.

      3 Type of relationships:
         1.) Open- Just as the name open implies, they know everything about you and you know everything about them.  They know where you live, last names, phone numbers, and visits.  This relationship works best for some families.
         2.) Semi-open- You have contact with the birthmother through emails and 800- numbers, you send updates at designated times, and sometimes visits occur in a place other than a home town.  Basically they don't know specific identifying information about you and you don't know specific things about them.
        3.) Closed- In this type of adoption, which is pretty rare now, the adoptive parents do not ever meet the birthparents, contact never happens and obviously visits are never going to happen in the future.

Every family has to make the decision about which is right for you.  Just remember, it is always easier to give a little instead of take back.

While our birthmother was amazing, not all birthmothers are great people.  Thank God for birthmothers who truly have the best intentions at heart!  Everyone needs to be aware of the not so pretty side of adoption...not all birthmothers have good intentions.  You would be surprised what these women do while they are pregnant.  Frequent drug and alcohol use, dangerous activities, and transmittable diseases are just a few of the bad things that could go wrong in an adoption.

  God bless those families who are able to understand these women and adopt a baby who is fighting against all odds before they are even born.  My point is not one birthmother is alike and every situation is unique.  The part of adoption that can tend to be the most difficult and often times the most miscued aspect of adoption is for sure birthmothers and the relationships adoptive families develop with birthmothers and their family.  I encourage anyone who wants to know more about birthmothers to actually call an agency and ask questions, talk to adoptive families or talk to a birthmother.