Olympics!

I am completely, totally, absolutely nuts about the Olympics!  How can you not be?!  You only get to enjoy this amazing display of dedication and athleticism every 4 years.

However, my husband is not a fan :( He actually said last night while I was biting my nails off watching the swimming, "I wonder how much that gold metal would be worth if they sold it?  If I had one I would for sure sell it."  Blasphemy!!!  To his defense, he is not really into sports. If he gets to watch a game great, but if we can't fit it in, its not a big deal either.  Most of his olympic comments are hilarious and keep me laughing or from getting upset at the scoring...especially the gymnastic scoring!

Pretty pumped to watched the women's gymnastics tonight and I think Reed is excited to watch whatever he wants to watch in the other room :)

My least favorite sport to watch has to be Ping Pong...sooooo boring!  And I have too many favorites to name.  Women's Rowing is fixing to start now and I fully intent to enjoy watching during naptime!  Anybody have a favorite?

Rough and Tough

The older my boys get the harder it is to say we all made it through the day without injury.  My boys are rough, tough, and just out right reckless... with a touch of creativity and imagination.  I admit it, but I used to judge mothers of little boys who were always in the emergency room, doctor's office or calling poison control.  I would sit around and judge (yes of course I was childless at the time) and think, "why don't you just watch your children?!" "How hard could it be to keep someone from busting their nose open for one day?!"  As it turns out, it is pretty hard!  And from what I hear, it only gets harder.

Outside fun that turned into eye injuries shortly after I took this picture!

Trust me, I watch my children very closely and sometimes I don't even know how the injuries happen!  I don't let them play or do anything that has a statistically high rate of injury... like climbing on ladders, playing with power tools, playing with matches, running with anything sharp, or a ton of other things that I can't even think of at the moment.  BUT I do let them run, climb smaller trees and basically just play.  I do this because I can seriously leave them in a room with nothing but a blanket and some pillows for nap time and the next thing I know someone is crying about their arm hurting. They come up with these amazingly creative games but there is always something included that could possibly result in injury.  They wrestle, jump, karate, dinosaur fight, bear hunt, and tie on towels as capes and try out their flying skills and that is the activities they come up with just in the morning time before nap!  I know I could probably stop them from playing so rough, but then I will end up raising a wimpy little sissy boy who likes to sit around and watch tv and play video games...that type of personality would not survive around here.

They never bully each other or seek out to hurt one another, but in the midst of all their playing someone is going to get hurt and I always pray that it will be minor.  You can judge me all you want, but once you have little boys you will realize that boys will be boys.  Thankfully we have had minor injuries in the house (busted noses, lips, scrapes) and only one major head bump that we thought was going to result in stitches, but I know the day is coming that someone is going to break something, I can just pray that its not a major bone like a leg.  I always find comfort in talking to these Moms who have stories to tell that are funny now, but at the time they thought they were going to get turned in because their boys always had bruises all over their legs and arms.  I know I am not a negligent mother who doesn't pay attention to her kids, but it is always nice to have reassurance from amazing mothers who pat me on the shoulder and say, "its ok, these things happen to every mother.  If you put them in a padded room and only let them play with approved toys they are not really even living!"  Its also very interested to listen to grown men talk about their fun times with their brother and in almost every story one or both brothers comes out with an injury that they think is funny.

Yes my kids have bruises and scrapes and a lot of times one of them will probably be bleeding before the day is over, but we also have a whole lot of fun.  When I just had Max I would have freaked out over any type of injury, but now I see it as just one of those things that are going to happen and you can only pray that God will protect you children from big injuries.

Doesn't that face look like he is up to NO good?!

Coming to tell me his nose hurts...wonder why?!  

Don't be completely like me...

I have a lot of fears for my children.  What normal parent doesn't?!  Some of my fears are irrational, uncontrollable, or a little neurotic, but I have a few that are pretty normal.  One of my fears isn't necessarily scary, but it is more concerning.  I do NOT want my children to have to suffer through shyness or have the ability to become a constant and willing doormat.

One of the traits I hate most about myself is my complete shyness. It can come off as snobby, rude, or disinterested, when in actuality it is just fear of being socially accepted.  Many people, my husband included, are the type of people who just know what to do in social situations and think that shyness is something that is easy to overcome...it's NOT.  Practice does not make perfect.  It can actually make it worse due to the fact when you are thrown into a situation and you do not know what normal protocol is for this situation you will basically just shut down out of fear of embarrassment and be back to square one.

So more to my point... I am sooooo scared that one of my children will be shy.  I am doing everything in my power to make it so they won't be, but at some point I am beginning to wonder if it is genetic.  One of the many reasons I had children close together in age was so they would always grow up knowing how to interact with people close to their age group.  I send them to "school" (which is a small daycare) once a week so they will be around other children, even though our pediatrician told me not to expect too much out of either one of them until they enter "school age" about 4 or 5.  I have been sending both of them since they turned 1 year old...I figured it was never too early to start.  I just can't bear to watch Max, who is already acting a little shy, look down at the ground when people talk to him or only want to play with me and his brother no matter who else is around.  It makes me feel so sad for him when I ask if he wants to go play with his friends and his answer is "no I so scared."  Is this a stage?  Is it genetic?  Is it observed behavior?

The other trait that just sucks to live with is letting people use you as a doormat.  Sitting up and shutting up to not cause waves just sucks!  Why is it that I would rather someone else belittle me than cause a big stink about it?  Why does it take so much for me to say anything and at that point I am so very pissed that the damage is almost irreparable? I like to look on the positive side and say I am very tolerant, patient and easy going, but when you cut the shit and just tell it like it is, I am a push-over 95% of the time.  I am definitely not a push-over type of parent.  I have very strict rules, but within those strict rules I allow freedom.  Yes it sounds contradictory, but trust me it works.  But socially, I am a push-over.

I do not want my children to go through life telling their friends, "I don't care what do you want to eat, do, see, etc.." When in actuality sometimes they really do care.  I especially don't want them to have to put up with little punks who like to take little jabs at them daily.   Where do you draw the line?  How do you teach your children not to be a push-over but at the same time be tolerant, compassionate, and considerate?  How do you teach them that it is ok to have an opinion or need sometimes, but you just need to find the right and appropriate ways to express these? I don't want my children to be treated like a doormat, but I also don't want them to act like a spoiled toddler or later in life a bully.

Anyways, these are just the parenting issues that have been keeping me up at night lately.

What did I just do?!

I never thought this would happen, but we officially turned down a match!  I just knew that I would never be strong enough to recognize a bad situation and turn it down, but we actually did it.

Birthmother was due in November, with a little girl...so everything sounded perfect.  Then little details start emerging that just didn't fit with our family.  It would have been selfish to accept.  She asked us 3 times to reconsider, so I didn't just say no once, I had to say no 3 times!  I'm not sure if God was testing my strength or faith, but I know it was not the right thing for us.

Hopefully the right match will come along for us soon.  I am getting very anxious, especially now.  I know I did the right thing, but it is just hard to see an opportunity pass you by.  I sit and think about it all the time, trying to make sense out of the whole thing. I really hope that the expectant mother finds the right family for the baby and even more I really hope the right baby finds our family.

This is my Choice

Not many people get to go to work and just love their job, I am lucky enough to absolutely love being a house wife.  My family and husband have given me the opportunity to have the best job EVER! I went to college and changed my degree about a zillion times because it was impossible to find a degree that fit what I really wanted to do...stay at home raising children, keeping the house somewhat together, and cooking for my family.

So to my point, I am NOT stupid!  I am a house wife by choice.  This is all I ever wanted to do.  I hate when you are around a bunch of judgmental jerks and they ask what you do and then scoff when your answer is "I'm a housewife."  Well excuse me for not living up to your standards, but I think raising tiny humans is pretty damn impressive.  I work all day, everyday, no days off, and when everyone else is off from "work" for holidays, well that is my busiest time.  I heard a house wife friend once say that she is a "domestic engineer," and I thought it was brilliant!  All the women I know that are housewives are incredibly talented, brilliant, resourceful, and above all tolerant and patient.  

A little understanding would be nice.  I understand that you are busy, you have kids and a job...so do I.  I don't roll my eyes or ask judgmental questions when I hear that you are a teacher, lawyer, or have a desk job.  I am just a little confused why it is ok to ask a house wife, "Don't you ever feel like your life has no purpose?" or "oh, you didn't graduate college?" or "Whats it like to sit at home all day?"  If you were joking and I actually knew you then this would be ok, but it is not ok to do this to a person you have barely met.  Manners please.  If I was your Mama I would have taught you better.

I don't go around asking "working women,"  "What does it feel like to have someone else raise your child?" or " Why did you even have children?" We all choose to live our life differently and I am a house wife by choice.  This is what I love thank you very much.