Being all things to all people is exhausting.

                    Being all things to all people is exhausting!

Every now and then when I am really tired I start to get so frustrated at just how much I am needed.  Now don't get me wrong here, when my kids grow up and don't technically "need" me anymore I will cry my eyes out, but lets just vent a little here.

In the course of a single day I feel like I have so many things to do, and if I were to not do them, life would not go on...end of story!

Being a wife:
 My husband expects to have his clothes cleaned, wrinkle free, and hanging organized in the closet every morning. Nothing puts him in a bad mood more than being told early in the morning that since he didn't unpack his bag from last weekend he as officially run out of jeans to wear for work and will just have to febreeze a pair and go on with life.  No, life will not end if he is wearing dirty jeans, I mean come on, I once wore the same sweatpants for 3 days straight because I not only didn't have time to shower, but I didn't even think about changing until my sister casually remarked "are those like your favorite pants?" However, he thinks his life might be ending because I have been rewashing the same load of laundry for over a day because I keep forgetting to put it in the dryer.  He literally NEEDS me to do the laundry...or it will not get done, end of story.

I am still working on exactly what being a wife means...its a concept that seems to eludes me.  Some days it seems like being a wife means making sure his laundry is done, other days it might mean suffering though endless man shows on tv that don't interest me in the slightest, but a good wife sits and watches these shows on the couch cuddled up with her husband.  Some days I think it is just being a listening ear.  Some days it could be having supper cooked on time and giving him time to relax from work.  90% of the time I feel like it means being a sexy little object of his affection that still keeps him guessing, which requires a LOT of work.  Basically, I feel like being a wife means you have to be all things for him.  I am serious!  When the kids and I leave for a couple days this man literally survives of fritos, peanut butter sandwiches, and calls to ask stupid questions like, "um where is the laundry soap?" "Exactly which button do I push on the dishwasher to make it just get the dishes clean?" or my most favorite:
Reed: "Hey, do you have any idea where the remote is?"
Me: "Um , NO, I have been gone for 3 days!"
Reed: "Yeah but I thought you might know where I usually leave it."
Reed NEEDS me to be a wife and keep my shit together, otherwise my marriage will fail.  End of story.
 *Disclaimer- Reed is a great husband, but like with all men, he is completely helpless with most things domestic.  This is in no way trashing my husband by any means.

Mother:
Being a mother is such a huge task that I can't even begin to describe the depth of what it means to be a mother.  All of my children rely on me all the time, all day long, for every single thing.  If I don't feed them, they won't eat.  If I don't change the diaper they will have poop all over their ass.  If I don't fix them some juice they might just dehydrate and die right before my very eyes.  If I don't watch them while they are playing outside a snake may bite their little legs and they will die.  If I don't give them a bath they will be the stinky kid.  If I don't take them to the doctor they will stay sick.  I am the officially doer of all things children.

Every single thing that any of the kids need or want it comes from me.  No matter if Reed is home, it is my job.  It has just been this way so long, I don't think they even think anyone else can make a snack for them or fix some chocolate milk.  It is seriously to the point that even when my parents offer to help and make something as simple as Mac and cheese out the box, by no fault of my parents, my kids think that only I can do it.  I have been trying really hard to give my children a sense of Independence by teaching them to cook simple things ( a concept I was introduced to through a pretty good book "Bringing up Bebe") and making sure they are actively involved in some sense of making supper with me.  This has been pretty helpful, but it is still an issue.  Granted I am flattered that my children think that my cooking is superior to everyone Else's cooking, even if it is just putting grapes in a bowl, it can be frustrating.

I am also the official playmate to the children ALL the time.  It has gotten easier to just do house hold chores dressed up as a super hero so I can always be ready and in character when the kids come wanting me to play...there is a sexy picture for you lol.  Yep, I spend my days around the house wearing capes, iron man masks, painted green skin (the hulk of course), or on days when my children have declared me as acting like "grumpy pants" I have to be the bad guy.  Enter Mommy as the joker, the riddler, the grinch, and my oh so favorite character to portray created my very own son Jerry, the "evil Dr. Bunny!"  Seriously?!  Where do these kids come up with this stuff?!

My kids NEED me to be a kick ass mother or else their quality of life will suffer.  That's a lot of pressure, but it has to be done, end of story.

Amber:
Yes, lets not forget I still have to be myself so I don't loose myself!  Which is a very easy thing to do in the world of mommy land and wifeness.
I have recently started taking more time that usual to take care of myself.  I have been running everyday since about the end of March, but recently I have decided to completely commit and started weight training 3 times a week and still running long distance runs every day.  So yes I have been pretty sore and tired, but extremely satisfied.  I am so much happier when I take time to take care of myself a little.  I feel like my world is going to end if I don't get to squeeze in a workout somewhere during the day...which usually means running at the ass crack of dawn because taking time away from my family to get in a extremely selfish run completely defeats the purpose of running to get rid of stress because I am stressing about being away from my children.

I NEED to find a little inkling of myself in my daily routine or I can't be everything else to everybody because I don't even know who I am.


                Being all things to all people is exhausting!
                                         However,
At the end of the day it is completely rewarding and worthwhile :)


 I just need to remember that during that day when I am changing my 4th shit filled diaper while trying to remember if I washed Reed's nice work shirts on hot or cold and reciting the mantra of "I must thaw out the chicken!"  Without me their world would end, and I should take pride in that, which I do, when I am not exhausted.