Exceptionally, selectively distracted

Ever have moments when you are working on one thing and then move to the other and can't remember what you were doing just minutes before that?  Well, I kinda have that, except it only seems to happen when I am cleaning.  I hate cleaning and that is not a secret.  I like to call my house "lived in" "loved" "child friendly" and Reed's ultimate favorite "toddler cleaned"  ( a term I use when the house is clean from about 4 feet up and 4 feet below is an ultimate disaster).


 I like to tell people if you are coming to see me and the kids to come by anytime, but if you are coming by to see the house please give me an advanced notice of 2 weeks and make sure I have a babysitter on duty at another location at least an hour before the visit it about to occur.  My house is very open, which means there is absolutely no where to hide a mess.  Max and I once had to resort to a very drastic measure of shoving clothes and toys into the oven, dishwasher, washer and dryer (all turned off of course) when our social worker gave us little than an hour notice that she was stopping by to do our placement report.  Now I know that she would not call me an unfit mother because I have laundry on the couch and toys all over the floor, but I don't want that forever cemented into all our adoption paperwork and reports.  This is the only time I ever felt self conscious about my house keeping.

Normally, I am very relaxed with the way my house is kept.  We live here and we have a lot of fun.  I am not the type to stop the fun to sweep up a play doh mess before we move on to building a dinosaur safari...hey maybe the dog will even eat it before I get around to sweeping :)  However, I come from a family who only feels comfortable living in museum worthy conditions.  My mom and dad are possibly the most clean, organized, and best house keepers on the planet.  No idea where they have all this super cleaning energy and powers, but they always have had it.  I know they love me unconditionally and will support everything I do, but I can just see the cringe on their face when my 2 biggest mess makers enter the room.  Its like their internal voice is screaming "HIDE THE VALUABLES!!"  And I can't blame them in the slightest, I hide everything that is dear to me too :)

Reed tends to work pretty late so luckily he doesn't get to see a lot of the mess.  The boys and I pick up toys before supper and we sweep the floor only twice a day.  Once before Reed comes home and then after I put them to bed I sweep up the supper mess.  Reed working late is actually good because he likes a house to be kept like my parents like a house to be kept and that is where the dilemma occurs.

When I try to clean ALL DAY LONG I get so distracted.  Its not all my fault.  Max and Jerry always come running into the laundry room with the best updates on whatever game they are playing, such as, Max would run in saying "The pirates crashed the boat." and then Jerry would run in minutes later screaming "treasure!!" So I start thinking pirates and treasure!!  Wow I wonder what they are using for treasure and who is the good and bad pirate...wonder if I can pretend to be a mermaid in this game...hey boys wait for me!!  And laundry is completely forgotten.  Maybe I will remember the laundry 2 games later when we are making a cave out of sheets and I will think...where are all our sheets?!!  Oh yeah laundry...crap.  I never get distracted unless it is cleaning.  I just don't like it.  You would think I would just get it over with because if I don't I am punished in 2 ways:
1.) I have to stay up until 11-12 at night cleaning up everything I should have done earlier.
2.) I have to hear Reed say the 2 most dreaded words in my personal dictionary "messy" and "organized"  Such as, "Maybe the house wouldn't appear to be so MESSY if you just had a more ORGANIZED system of cleaning"

The marker on his face and hands will soon be all over the house...curse of the washable marker... it comes off everything but also rubs onto everything else in the process. 

Looks like someone(Jerry) got out of control with his coloring

Yes, that is a child climbing through freshly laundered and folded blankets...such a waste of time!  I should have just piled it all in the crib where nobody could reach it!

    I will give him credit for saying appears to be messy instead of just straight out saying it is messy, which it is not, but I really hate those words!!  My house is very sanitary.  You will not find dirt, bugs, or anything disgusting lying around, however, you will find, toys, slightly sticky toys, random play doh sculptures, dogs, tents/forts, laundry piles, and sometimes unmade beds.

I am trying my best to keep the house more up to Reed's standards.  I have started setting a timer and it says I have to clean the house for 10 solid minutes randomly throughout the day.  Max refers to these minutes as "Mama's timeout"  and I dread them as much as Max and Jerry dread timeout.  So far I have been able to focus for 10 minutes and it is getting better, but 10 minutes is by far my limit.

So remember if you ever stop by remember my house is very lived in and if that offends you, well, I guess you can wait outside.  That is the best I can offer.  I will keep a super museum worthy clean house when my kids are grown up...maybe :)

Thanksgiving strategies...

I absolutely LOVE holiday food!  Dressing, turkey, and candied sweet potatoes are a few of my favs...and a special little family recipe of something we simply call "Pink Stuff" (essentially its cranberries, whipping cream and tiny marshmallows).  All full of carbs, calories, sugar and just delicious.

Married life brings a lot of fun and during the holidays calories.  2 huge Thanksgiving meals in less than a 1 week!!  I feel like I can just look at food and gain an instant 10 pounds.  Fortunately and unfortunatley, both sides of my family are exceptionally great cooks who seem to only know how to prepare food in bulk, so its not just one tempting meal I have to "just say no" to, but its tons of snacks, lunches and ongoing treats for at least a week.

After having children I am extremely hard on myself and my appearance.  I hate the way my body has changed and still have a pair of impossibly small jeans hanging in my closet waiting for the day that I might wish my way into fitting into them.  Then I have to remember that in a short 2 years I lost 112 pounds.  That is something to be proud of, but it is hard to see past when I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and indulge in my sweet tooth.  Now I can't even sample desserts without my midsection bloating up like a blimp.  So the holiday season and I have a love/hate relationship.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE all the food and absolutely hate playing the battle of wills of deciding whether or not I should eat something.

Luckily, last year I found a way to keep the pounds off and still be able to enjoy the right amount of food without completely undoing a diet and so far it has seemed to work to work this year as well.  Instead of breaking out the stretchy pants for our Thanksgiving day celebrations I bring out the tightest jeans I have...I mean serious muffin top if I am the least bit bloated...or sitting...or slouching.  Everytime I sit down to take a bite I will remember exactly why I am only having a few bites just by looking down at my midsection.  Then absolutely no sweats allowed for a whole week so I won't be tempted to snack around.  Nothing puts motivation in me to workout and not eat terribly bad food than having to wear clothes that show too much imperfection.

I know I sound crazy most of the time, but what woman doesn't have moments where she hates her body?!  I am slowly working on accepting the way I look and just be happy at the size I am, but it is of course a work in progress.

National Adoption Month

In 1984 President Ronald Reagan proclaimed a "National Adoption Week, " fortunately just nine years later President Bill Clinton, who was adopted himself, declared November as National Adoption Month.  Surprisingly adoption is still not an issue many people are informed about.  A lot of people have a weird view on adoption ranging from good to bad...mostly bad.  I personally think they have watched way too many lifetime movies where the birthmother is always bad and evil,  coming back to "steal" her child or the adoptive parents are portrayed as baby buying, Stephford-ish type of families who would literally rip a newborn baby out of a woman's arms and throw cash at her as they run out the door.   When in reality, most birthmothers are so thankful for the adoptive family and the adoptive family has the utmost respect for the birthmother.

Hopefully with time and exposure more people will be aware of what adoption is really like.  National Adoption month is a time to spread awareness, help potentially adoptive families, help birthfamilies, and focus on children who are in need of forever families.

                    A little about Birthmothers:

I am so thankful for our birthmother!  The day she called to let us know she picked our family changed our life forever.  She took care of my daughter before I was able to.  She grew her and kept her safe and healthy and then lovingly handed her to me to join our family.  She made an amazingly mature decision at a very young age of 16.  Our birthmother made it possible for me to have a daughter, Max & Jerry to have a sister, & and Reed to have a little daddy's girl .  She gave us one of the greatest gifts and I will be forever grateful.  Relationships with birthmothers are different for everyone and our semi-open relationship is working great for us so far.

      3 Type of relationships:
         1.) Open- Just as the name open implies, they know everything about you and you know everything about them.  They know where you live, last names, phone numbers, and visits.  This relationship works best for some families.
         2.) Semi-open- You have contact with the birthmother through emails and 800- numbers, you send updates at designated times, and sometimes visits occur in a place other than a home town.  Basically they don't know specific identifying information about you and you don't know specific things about them.
        3.) Closed- In this type of adoption, which is pretty rare now, the adoptive parents do not ever meet the birthparents, contact never happens and obviously visits are never going to happen in the future.

Every family has to make the decision about which is right for you.  Just remember, it is always easier to give a little instead of take back.

While our birthmother was amazing, not all birthmothers are great people.  Thank God for birthmothers who truly have the best intentions at heart!  Everyone needs to be aware of the not so pretty side of adoption...not all birthmothers have good intentions.  You would be surprised what these women do while they are pregnant.  Frequent drug and alcohol use, dangerous activities, and transmittable diseases are just a few of the bad things that could go wrong in an adoption.

  God bless those families who are able to understand these women and adopt a baby who is fighting against all odds before they are even born.  My point is not one birthmother is alike and every situation is unique.  The part of adoption that can tend to be the most difficult and often times the most miscued aspect of adoption is for sure birthmothers and the relationships adoptive families develop with birthmothers and their family.  I encourage anyone who wants to know more about birthmothers to actually call an agency and ask questions, talk to adoptive families or talk to a birthmother.