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Growing in my heart

"Adoption means you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy."




I heard this wonderful quote today and I thought it was the most absolute perfect way of describing adoption not only to a child, but really to anyone.  Adoption is tough, heart breaking, and a little bit mind numbing.  There are so many bad people out there in the world that are just there to take advantage of hopeful adoptive families and the agencies are no different.  We absolutely refuse to work with any agency that bases their fee on the child's race.  How is this not baby buying?!  So I can welcome a caucasian baby into my home for about $30,000 but if you want an african american baby we can make it happen for about $15-20,000!  That is insane and wrong on soooooo many levels.  I really don't know how these people sleep at night.  And lets not even get me started on the U.S. Foster system...I have nothing good to say to these people.  




Pregnancy was hard and in my case life threatening, but if I could do it all over again just to avoid this 3 ring circus of adoption I would.  Reed and I both have a very deep desire to adopt, we feel that it is just something we are meant to do, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know I will love our adopted child exactly the same as I love my biological children...I know this because I already love this potential child soooo much that it is heartbreaking that she hasn't found her way to our family yet.  I may not be pregnant, but I feel like I have the hormones of a pregnant woman.  Technically we are "paper pregnant."  All the work is done, we are just waiting for the life changing call.  Hopefully it will come soon before I loose my mind.    

Running was sooo much easier when I was in high school!

 I first started running in high school.  I basically started because one day I was running our required 1 mile for basketball practice and after I was done with that mile I realized I wasn't tired, so I just kept running...3 miles later and I was hooked.

Fast forward 7 years.....

Running is HARD!  If I take 2 weeks off because I am busy or even 2 days off because I am tired my whole body is going to tell me about it.  I never experienced this until after I had babies.  Pregnancy is tough on the body, especially if you just treat pregnancy as a free pass on eating whatever and doing whatever you want, which is exactly what I did.  I was never a fast runner, even in high school.  8 or 9 minute miles were good for me because I just ran and ran for a long time, some people made fun and said I was slow, but if I really wanted to I could run to town and back and not be tired.  So 7 years, 2 babies, and LOTS of weight later it would make sense that I would still be slow, but I would like to be faster than I am now.  If I am not paying attention and just enjoying the run I will run a very slow 11 minute mile...pathetic I know.  If I am focused 10 minute miles is the pace I like to run at, but I would like it to be faster.

I went to Luke's locker (and runner will know that its the best place on Earth!) and told them about my problem.  They suggested I change shoes!  I have been running in Asics ever since I started running and have had no complaints until after pregnancy.  After I had my babies, my feet had grown a size and a half and I switched to Nike's because they just felt better...so now they were wanting me to switch again!  They pointed me in the direction of the Nike Run Free.   They said that they will make my feet stronger and maybe that will increase my time, so I gave them a try.



The first 2 weeks my feet were screaming mad at me!  I had crams in the souls of my feet just randomly through the day, my toes hurt at their joints and I felt like I had stone bruises.  Unfortunately, this is just all part of the process of making your feet strong again.  Yep, the muscles in your feet can get very sore and gain strength.  Now, I have been running in these shoes for 3 months and I LOVE them!  If I put on regular running shoes my feet feel restricted and so does the rest of my body movement.  I am proud to say that I can now run an 11 minute mile pushing the boys and a 9:30 mile not pushing the boys.  I am not able to keep that pace up, but eventually I will be able to if I just stay with it.  My feet have also shrunk in size now...guess my feet were fat and out of shape too!  I wear a whole size smaller in shoes again...weird I know.  There is one con about this shoe-  If you are running on a road that has a lot of gravel, sometimes little rocks get caught in the grooves of the shoes and it will eventually start to hurt your feet if you don't stop and pick the rock out, but other than that, I have no complaints.  I am thinking about running the 5K at the Owa Chito, but I really suck at 5K's and don't want to embarrass myself...plus that is a really hard run lol.  We will see what happens, but if I do run it you can count on me being at the back of the pack because lets face it, I am slow, but at least I try :)

Time magazine cover

So I am a little late on posting this, but I'm busy so I get to it when I get to it.

I hear that this Time magazine cover is causing quiet a stir.  So what I am basically getting from it is that people are upset that she is chosing to be a committed mother and doing what she believes is best for her son.  She is not an absent mother, a drug addict, or a felon... she is still breastfeeding her son at the age of 3.  How appauling!

I am a fan of the attachment parenting philosophy, so yes I am a little biased, but I think we should applaud this woman for being this committed to her children.  Anyone who has ever breastfed knows how big of a committment it is!  Why in the world is she being criticised?  I guess I just don't get it.  Yes, I can see how it could be perceieved as a little strange to those people who sexualize breastfeeding or even go so far as to say its disguisting, but it is not a disturbing image.  I could have never breastfed my children this long, I was at my limit at 9 months, and trust me, I was counting down the days for my children to slowly wean themselves off, it is seriously tough work!


I for sure think Time was going for the shock and aw when they chose this cover.


They could have chose this one instead and it would probably have gotten a completely different reaction.




These are some of the other pictures that were inside the magazine





I have experienced this same situation!  The airline didn't actually say to get off, but they very much looked disturbed.  





I just think that people should leave this woman and all the other mothers (good mothers) alone.  If the media and the world would put just half as much effort into saving orphans and adoption awareness instead of harping on this magazine cover then the world would be a much better place.