Simply the number of small children we have is slightly different, which is usually what first draws eyes our way, but there are a lot of families out there with many more children than I have, so that isn't the reason we stick out. We stick out because I let my children act developmentally appropriate and expect nothing more and nothing less. I WILL NOT punish my child for acting their age.
When I was pregnant with Max I thought I would parent the way I parent now, but with the huge pressure on mothers to make sure their children act like little robots in public made me turn into a robot type mom. Tense all the time and waiting for the next "bad behavior" my child was going to do. I seriously felt like I was doing a bad job if my 7 month old cried in a restaurant and made a mess on the floor!! Thank God I got pregnant with Jerry very quickly after Max's birth and I was forced to stay home, read, practice, and learn to parent the way I should and the way I wanted to all along. I just needed the confidence to become the parent I wanted to be and basically say " screw you" to everyone else who felt like I was doing a bad job. I still get a little nervous in public when I let my children just act their age, but I have learned to brush that off slowly and with the help of a very wise woman who I met a church. Seriously sent to me by God in some of my darkest parenting hours who will always listen and work with me no matter the circumstance.
I was speaking with her on the phone on the worst parenting day of my life ( the cattle show at the county fair!) and she said something that finally made the light bulb turn on in my brain. I was complaining about Jerry's emotional outburst in public and how I couldn't seem to control it and she said,
"That is what he is supposed to do! He is 3."
DUH!!! Why didn't I think of that?! I have a degree in child development and psychology, I have ready hundred of books on different parenting styles, philosophies, and so much research it would make your brain hurt and I still didn't put that together. I was always so worried that I was doing a bad job as a mom that I forgot that one of the main parts of my job is to know that my children are behaving in a way that is expected!
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| He is 3 :) |
Have a lot of energy
Be curious about their environment, especially new ones.
Touch EVERYTHING!
Not be able to sit still for long at all (15 mins is a long time!)
Express feelings. Negative and positive feelings.
Not want to share!
Throw fits.
Run.
Becomes a picky eater.
And lucky for us parents they are now capable of understanding "mine" and "yours." Surprise, surprise, this is why they don't want to share!
So no, I will not punish my child for touching EVERYTHING. If I have to go somewhere that touching is not allowed, then I won't bring my child because I can't expect him to not act how his development is.
Yes, I know this is going to be controversial, but I do not make my child share everything! Some things are HIS! Just like some things are mine and I STILL don't share them. Jerry has Legos that are only his legos, Max knows he can only touch them if Jerry invites him. Max has an iron man costume that is only his, he often times shares it now, but I think that is because I allowed him to make the rules with something that is particuarly special to him. Of course we still have fights about sharing every single day, but it is easy to say, "if you don't feel like sharing, go play with your special toy."
I expect my children to have a TON of energy, more than your average child. I have no idea where it comes from, but on days that it is worse than others I have to change my plans. If I wanted to go out to lunch today but I am having trouble getting the kids to sit still long enough to put shoes on, then I know today is not the day to go to lunch. Why put myself through the frustration when I know better?!
I have slowly became comfortable with being "those people" with "that kid" because multiple times during the day, with at times more than one child, something is going to happen that isn't particularly "normal behavior." The other day at a restaurant Jerry walked up to a particulary textured wall and licked it!! Not really sure what to do at this point I just asked:
"Jerry why in the world did you lick thatwall?!" and he said "because it looked like it tasted like strawberries." Fair enough.
We talked about not licking walls because they almost never taste like what you think they would taste like and we walked away with a few more germs and hopefully a boost to our immune system. Yes, the hostess thought I had a crazy child, but nope, completely normal!
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| Probably eating/tasting something she shouldn't like a rock or booger. |
